I am going to be a STAR! That is my plan!
Said by every performer, ever.
Said by me when my parents asked what I wanted to be. I had no back up plan because I wasn't going to need one. I was going to succeed!!
Oh, Show Business.
No matter if we "make it" and we are a star, at some point in our career, we all feel the same sense of not being enough, questioning our talent, and deep down just wanting to be accepted. Struggling or full blown stars……we are all the same aren't we? Our careers go through massive highs and lows, feast and famine, that would make anyone else's head spin. Show business brings heartache, and many of us allow that heartache to rob us of our every day happiness and forget the joy that comes from doing what we do.
So how can we be a happy, fulfilled, confident, blissful? Deep down, its a choice, really. But here's some tips I found in my career that help me. I hope they will help you too.
Love Acting. It sounds obvious, but you'd be surprised by how many actors focus on the negative and allow the indifference of the business to validate that self-deprecating voice in their heads. "If you didn't get the callback you must suck." No, you must focus on the art and love it. You do this by engaging in the joy of acting on a regular basis in classes, in scripts you write and shoot, and in the work you do on stage. If the extent of your acting is in an audition room a couple times a week for 10 minutes at a time at best, you're not choosing to fall in love with it. Love it for it's own sake.
Get a Life. You need a day job. Angelina Jolie, George Clooney, Denzel Washington, and Meryl Streep all have day jobs. Yes, I said have. Whether it's child advocacy, Politics, parenthood, music, or women's issues, they all have passions that extend beyond show business. Sometimes their day job is acting! The point is they all have full lives that keep them engaged in their communities in ways that are fulfilling. If auditioning and occasional acting on set is all you do, you probably have a more narrow view of the world than an artist should. You're limiting yourself and your art. So, get out there. Get a job. Volunteer. Make time for friends and family. Travel. Experience. Your art is bigger than the business, and it requires fuel or else it gets stale. Living a full life is your power source.
Care for you instrument. You must eat well, sleep well, and – during at least one workout a week – engage in exercise that isn’t driven by vanity but by the desire to connect your mind and your body. This business is stressful. It requires constant self-care. If you're putting things into your body that deplete your physical and emotional energy, the artistic expression that comes out of your body will reflect that depletion. You won't be able to do the work you need to consistently do. This goes for spiritual engagement as well. You have to be feeding your soul – whatever that means for you. In a town where business is our master, we have to find ways to nurture our spirits and find something bigger than the industry and ourselves. You can only find joy and engage in deeply connected work if your heart, body, and spirit are tuned.
Let go of the drama. The drama is on the page and in the work, but not in your life. There'll certainly be struggles, disappointments, and big feelings. But don't turn that into drama. Live simply. Don't create chaos. That's wasted energy spent in avoidance. Deal with what's right in front of you: the work. Everything else is in the way of the thrill of your artistic exploration.
Comparison is death. You're not Jennifer Lawrence. You’re not Daniel Day Lewis. You're not Octavia Spencer. But they're also not you. Comparing your career to another actor's career is not the work of an artist. You are a unique actor with a unique set of experiences so your path will be unique. Likewise, comparing your bank account to that of the kid you grew up with who went to law school, undermines your unique journey and prevents your experiences from being expressed through your art. You are like no one and no one is like you.
Find your gratitude. Appreciate what you have; it's a lot. Every morning and evening, in the shower, in traffic, at the post office, etc. – Identify three things for which you're grateful. Let that become a practice. It keeps you out of the muck that actors can wallow in. "She didn't bring me in on that part I'm perfect for." "That other actor got the part." "I'm too old, too fat, too insignificant, too, too, too…" Gratitude leaves no room for the negative voices that don't have your best interests in mind. Even when those voices pop up in the waiting room as you're about to walk into the room. Be especially grateful then!
Be gentle and kind to yourself and to everyone around you. Nobody deserves to be beaten up. Begin with yourself. Forgive yourself for anything you think you did wrong. Treat yourself as you would a new lover. Go out of your way to be generous. Be compassionate. Be mindful – to the casting director, the other actors who always book your parts. Be kind. It will create space for happiness.
Meditate It is not a religion. It is an exercise in stillness. By training in meditation, we create an inner space and clarity that enables us to control our mind regardless of the external circumstances. If our mind is peaceful, we will be free from worries and mental discomfort, and so we will experience true happiness. If we train in meditation, our mind will gradually become more and more peaceful, and we will experience a purer and purer form of happiness. Eventually, we will be able to stay happy all the time, even in the most difficult circumstances.
These are confessions of my life as an actress working on Broadway, TV and Film for 20 years
Copyright 2017 M Patterson